Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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