Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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