we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
