and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Randomize
