Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
