That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
