I'm drive I can fine osifer
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
