Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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