Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
