If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
