I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize
