Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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