I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
