well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
