idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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