The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
