you turned your livingroom into a bong?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
