I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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