dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
