sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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