That's intense
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
