Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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