Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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