I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
