Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
