I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Randomize
