Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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