was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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