butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
