Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I think my moral compass just broke
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
