is your mom at the bar?
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
try to milk me bitch
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