My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
