Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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