worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize