What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
