I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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