You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
