I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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