weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
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