Midget sex pt 2 tonight
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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