i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
don't judge my taste in strippers
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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