dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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