I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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