He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
