We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
you made out with another girl for some wings
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Randomize
