Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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