found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize