well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
