it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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