He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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