Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
