I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
