just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Randomize
