Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
