he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize