Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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