Swine flu. Run for my life!
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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