party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
